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| Borderline Personality Today | ||||
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Psychotropic
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Borderline Personality Disorder Older Person Isolating
When I was younger, I used to have social circles. Yes they were difficult. There were many times I felt betrayed, humiliated, hurt, and angry. I felt everything to the extreme. Yet, people liked me in spite of my moods. I had a tendency to isolate occasionally. And during those periods, I would sort of recuperate then jump back in to the routine. Recuperating was a good thing, but after some time passed, I'd feel lonely and empty, and feel like all my friends would be gone when I came back. Anxiety, depression, and fear of abandonment ruled my world.
Now, I'm 37 and I have no energy for relationships. I'm a single
parent and I have enough energy only for my son. I don't even have the
desire for a friendship. I really think that years of turmoil left me
exhausted and frozen inside. I often feel that this attitude is not a
healthy one, because we need others. Humans need other humans. I feel
now that if someone offered their friendship and asked me to
"Lean on them" that I would lean so hard, it would knock
them down . So for now, I choose to be safe and stoic. Anonymous Person with BPD
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