Borderline Personality Disorder Person Involved with Alcoholics Anonymous (12 Step Program)

My support is through the fellowships of AA (alcoholics anonymous) and SLAA. I also go to therapy weekly and have been on 100mg of Zoloft until recently. I am 66 years old.

I am probably the best I have ever been but without the Zoloft I am experiencing some anxiety, poor sleep etc. However this could partly be due to a new and potentially wonderful relationship. I have been divorced for 13 years and have had several relationships during that time. I was not on any medication until about five years ago when i was prescribed 50mg of Zoloft which was increased to 100mg a couple of years ago.

I have to be very careful with my reactions with this man and not taken everything so seriously. He has gone overseas for Christmas and I am relieved in one sense of getting myself grounded once again. Relationships of any sort have been the most difficult area in my life. However if I can use the tools of the 12 step program, live as stress free as I can etc. hopefully it will work out.

I have recently retired from my social work job counseling with Vietnam Veterans and their families. This was pretty stressful and I also had my sense of self tied in there as well.

I grew up in the country and when my parents separated when I was 8. I was sent to boarding school. I felt very ashamed of my family - in those days divorce was very rare. Nothing was spoken about what happened to us and of course I blamed myself. My parents did not know what to do - it would have been useful to have explained to us that it was not our fault and they loved us etc. but that did not happen.

During my 20s I had shock treatment (ECT) twice and was finally prescribed valium which worked beautifully for me and only 17 years ago did I go to detox and stopped using that drug and also alcohol.

Our supervising psychiatrist told me one day that 50% of people in AA have borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder which did not surprise me. but they would all say that their problems are due to alcohol and that they are the "isms " of their disease of alcoholism.

The support of 12 step programs is crucial to me and also the service that we are asked to do e.g. sponsorship maintains a good mental state.

Anonymous Person with BPD

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