Borderline Personality Disorder Recovery Vs. Cured

by Patty E. Fleener M.S.W.

There has been discussion in the online borderline personality disorder (BPD) community that one can "be CURED" and/or "be RECOVERED" from the Borderline Personality Disorder. 

You may hear people claim this or state that they in fact know someone who is indeed cured or recovered from BPD.

FACT: As of today: 4/11/04, there IS no cure and but there IS RECOVERY from the borderline personality disorder just as there is no cure  but you can go into recovery from the bipolar disorder, AT THIS TIME.

Here again, I ask all of you to check the research. I encourage you to read and re-read Dr. Paul Markovitz's (M.D., Ph.D.) Archives on the website here.  Dr. Markovitz is a top of the line researcher and Dr. in the field of the borderline personality disorder. 

Use that intelligent noggin that for some reason folks with the BPD seem to have. What does the research say and what do the reputable books you have been reading say? If you don't know I encourage you to read and learn. 

Know the facts and stay AWAY from opinion and theory. When you know the facts and you read that someone says "I am totally cured from the BPD!," you can smile to yourself and say "uh huh."

False information will not get you well and will in fact slow your own recovery (when I say recovery, I mean get better and you can) down and can stop it and could make you worse.

If you want to get better then you need the truth and you need to be armed with facts. We know a lot about BPD. However there is still a lot we don't know. We do know that we can treat many of the symptoms but it cannot be cured at this time.

If this article is causing you distress and making you feel you will never feel better,  think twice.

I am in recovery from the BPD and for me it feels like I don't have the disorder. I feel normal. I do indeed feel cured. It takes a lot of stress for the symptoms of the disorder to come out. 

I tell everyone (here we go with opinion - don't believe everything you read and that includes me as well) that I believe those of us that have the borderline personality disorder and those with the bipolar disorder as well can live happy and productive lives. I believe that much of our suffering can be treated with medication, counseling, exercise, affirmations, positive attitudes, courage and a lot of determination. Money and good support systems help a great deal of course.

I have the borderline personality disorder AND the bipolar disorder and I am proof to you that one can live a happy and productive life and at one time I thought it would be impossible as I could not get past the symptoms of my disorders. I am NOT cured of EITHER disorder. 

STRESS as I said, seems to bring the symptoms out of each. It is rare that anyone will see my borderline symptoms anymore as I take medication daily and I have learned new coping skills and have a better self esteem and am finally able to identify many of my unhealthy behaviors and am able to make better choices about my life. I am also much older now. 

I am not cured but I am a happy and stable person.

What is the difference between recovery and cured?

Let me address that on a personal level.

Little difference when my external world is running smoothly. There are people who used to make medication and no longer take it. For myself I still take it but you must remember that I also have the diagnosis of Bipolar I, Mixed Episodes. 

When I am not stressed I absolutely feel cured. I have zero symptoms. Now I do understand from a psychiatrist that it is common for older BPDs to sometimes not to want to be close to people due to being hurt a lot in relationships. I can only speak for myself but this is somewhat true for me. Outside of my husband the thought of being very close in a friendship causes concern to me. I enjoy interaction with people and visiting certain neighbors who are indeed close friends. I know a lot of people at the gym and I enjoy their company there but just thinking of the tremendous amount of energy it would require to have a friendship outside of the gym feels draining. 

Remember, I am 45. This is not my authentic personality. I have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).

For someone older like myself, I don't see how someone who has the BPD cannot have some level of PTSD. As we know, the BPD is a tremendously painful disorder. The Bipolar Disorder is extremely painful as well, in a different way. I don't know the research on this. 

As I stated earlier, when stress comes, the symptoms come out but they don't come WAY out like they used to. No! I am not living in chaos like I did. I have learned so much since then. I have learned about decision-making. That I was making decisions that hurt my life in the past. I was in so much emotional pain in the past I made decisions just to get rid of the pain and those decisions further hurt my life. 

AJ's borderline email support group was a fantastic group for me to join when I first came online in 96 and it really assisted me in learning which of my behaviors were ill. Believe it or not before 96 I had no clue which ones were ill and which weren't. AJ is from Soul's Self Help Central at www.borderlinepersonality.ca  Check it out. She has some great BPD info there.

So you see, though I am not cured I am generally a happy camper. I am still a human being meaning I have problems like everyone else. I have some neurobiological disorders that I take medications for. I exercise and that helps tremendously. I have a fighting spirit and that helps a great deal and when I need a therapist, I get one. No I don't have everything I need. My cup is usually never full but most people's aren't and I've begun to accept that and after doing everything I can do for myself I practice accepting life on life's terms. 

If you have borderline personality disorder and/or bipolar disorder and you are in a great deal of emotional pain right now I want to give you a novel thought that a very interesting psychiatrist gave me that actually made me feel better. I went in to see him at my appointment and I was extremely depressed - the kind you can hardly stand.

He asked how I felt. I said "I am so depressed I can't stand it." He said "You are supposed to be depressed. You are off of your meds and we are waiting to see if the next one works." He said it so matter of factly and clinically but not heartlessly. 

After the appointment I told my mother frankly "I'm supposed to be depressed right now. Later it will go away even if this next medicine doesn't work. One medicine will."

This psychiatrist is the only psychiatrist that knew how to talk with me and it is hard to express just how he did it. Anyway, he was right. One medicine did work and I was supposed to be depressed then because my brain chemistry was all messed up. Do you hear hope in that message? I did and he was right.